Right Here With Me
by bmjewell
Summary: Its been 10 years since the destruction of Malachor V....


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, KOTOR or KOTOR II. (But you already knew that didn't you!)

**In lieu of a recent review I feel I should warn you that this is pretty much just fangirl fluff stuff. So if the romance/angst category didn't convince you, here is another warning! If you don't like stuff like that, then please don't read because you will be sorely disappointed. **

* * *

**Right Here With Me**

by:bmjewell

It had been 10 years since the destruction of Malachor and Shayna knew the Galaxy was a better place because of her and her companions. They had restored order to the universe and even started up a new Jedi Enclave on Coruscant. The restoration effort on Telos was nearing completion and the planet was beginning to return to the lush, beautiful planet it had once been. She had found Revan in the Outer Rim and together they had wiped out the remaining Sith ensuring peace for a few hundred years until the next chapter in history would begin to write itself. Revan had returned to Carth and they had gotten married, living out the life they both so desperately wanted.

Shayna let out a sigh of remorse. She had so much that she still wanted to do, yet she knew she would never have enough time to do it all. She closed her eyes when the tears threatened to spill over. She didn't know how long she had lain there but she was woken up to a tender hand stroking her cheek.

She saw him sitting there next to her, worry in his eyes. "I'm fine honey, don't worry."

"Even a galaxy of Sith couldn't bring you down darling," he laughed softly. Even though he laughed she could clearly see the pain in his brown-hazel eyes.

She reached up and brushed away the stubborn brown locks that had fallen over his brow. "Really. I'm fine. I was just remembering."

He gathered her into his tight embrace, tucking his head into her neck. "You sure you're okay?"

"I promise I'm fine," she mumbled into his shoulder. She felt his strong yet gentle hand stroking her hair and she once again felt at peace. Yes, as long as she had Atton by her side she would have everything she ever wanted in life.

They jumped apart when they door swung open and two little children came running in, jumping on Atton in the process. "Daddy daddy daddy! Look what Aunt Revan taught me," the little girl said.

They watched as she levitated the family gizka, Nerf, a few feet off the floor. He squirmed around frantically, more annoyed than frightened. Laughter erupted as she gently set him back down, on top of her brother.

"Oh yeah, well look what Uncle Carth showed _me_," the boy exclaimed, not to be outdone by his sister. He pushed the gizka off his lap and jumped up and forced pushed a data pad several inches across the desk.

Shayna couldn't help but be proud of her babies. Emiyah was only 3 ½ and Ryhan was 5 but they were already showing much promise as future members of the Jedi Order. _Although having two Jedi Masters as parents does give them somewhat of an advantage_, she thought blissfully.

Atton scooped them in his arms then shooed them out of the room promising ice cream cones if they behaved. Shayna smiled as she watched her husband with their children. She knew he was a wonderful father and she couldn't have asked for a better husband. Yes, in many ways he was the same smart ass, pazaak playing pilot she'd met all those years ago on Peragus, but now he was no longer haunted by memories of his dark past. Instead his mind was filled with family memories and fatherly worries. He was truly happy and that made her happy.

He walked over and gave her a quick kiss before exiting the room leaving Shayna alone again.

She walked over to the window and looked out at the city below her. Telos was beautiful even when it was at its busiest. Speeders floated by in the distance and the busy hustle and bustle of its citizens going about their daily lives gave Telos the beautiful hum of life that had been destroyed the day its surface was bombed into a barren wasteland.

The ocean was visible in the horizon and Shayna could see all its occupants. There was a young couple splashing in the waves, laughing as they ran back and forth without a care. An elderly couple holding hands as they fed the birds, while their grey hair shone in the sun. A boy threw a ball back and forth to his father while his mother sat underneath an umbrella, playing with a baby.

She felt the warm trail of a tear as it glided down her cheek. This was why she had fought. This was why she had never faltered during her travels as The Exile. She had given the galaxy a chance to truly enjoy life again.

A knock on the door brought her back to reality. "Come in."

The door opened to reveal an old friend waiting to hug her. "Visas!"

"Shayna! It's been almost a year! I've missed you," the Miraluka woman said as she wrapped her arms around Shaynas neck.

They chatted for half an hour about the things that had been going on in their lives. Visas had seen Mical and Mira at the academy on Coruscant before her visit to Telos. "They are great Masters, you know. Their students look up to them with such admiration. They must've had a wonderful teacher themselves," she said with a smile.

Shayna laughed. "Oh Visas, stop flattering me! You all were wonderful people before I met you. I just helped you see what you could not."

They continued their light chit-chat a few more minutes until finally Visas finally brought up the underlying reason for her visit.

"Shayna, are you sure you want talk about it? I think you are thinking too far ahead. You are fine; we don't even need to discuss this."

Shayna smiled warmly as she took her friends hand. "Visas, we both know the inevitable is going to come sooner or later and I want to make sure that we've discussed this before it comes to pass. Please, it will make me feel much better," she said softly.

A somber look of understanding flushed over the part of Visas face that was visible as she nodded slowly."Very well Shay, but I don't like to think about it. I don't want to believe it."

"I know, I know...," she said as tears welled up in her eyes, "neither did I but I've come to peace with it now." She wiped the tears from her eyes, "I…I just need you to promise me something."

"Anything Shay, you know that."

"I need you to…watch out for Atton. He's going to blame himself for not being able to save me. But Visas, you can't let him blame himself," she said, her voice becoming desperate. "No one can help me now, and he knows that… but that won't stop him. I need you to promise me that you'll watch out for him. He's going to need help with the kids from time to time," she laughed.

"Of course Shay. We'll all be here for Atton when that time comes," she said softly.

"I knew you would," she said her eyes full of a sorrowful happiness. She cleared her throat before changing the subject. "Now what's this I hear about Bao-Dur opening his own droid repair shop," she said as a smile crept across her face.

* * *

Atton sat in a chair next to her bed as he watched her sleep. She looked like an angel with her light blonde hair flowing around her, creating a halo like glow. _His angel,_ he thought sadly.

The doctors assured him that they had done all they could to make her last few months comfortable, yet he still worried about her every day. He was glad the children didn't know any better. He couldn't bear the thought of explaining to them that their mother was dying.

Not only had she saved him, she had also given him the two best gifts in the world, their children. She was his everything and he didn't know how he would survive without her. He loved being a father and he was good at it, that was true, but he could never hold a candle to the mother that she was.

Shayna stirred in her sleep before finally cracking an eye open to look at him. "Dammit Rand, I already told you. I don't want to play pazaak!"

"Not even Nar Shaddaa rules," he asked waggling his eyebrows.

She giggled at him before sitting up to stretch. "Maybe later you scoundrel," she said as she brushed the side of his face with her fingers. He caught her hand in his and closed his eyes.

"I'm not ready Shay. I can't do this," he whispered.

"Honey…you can. I know you can." He opened his eyes and stared into hers. "We both know…we can't stop this."

He wrapped her in a loving embrace. "I'm not ready to let go of you yet. I love you."

"I know, I love you too," she whispered as he squeezed her closer.

She lifted his face to wipe the tears from his eyes, "I need you to be strong. Our children need their father."

"They need their mother too," he said cried out, turning away in anger. "_**I **_need you." He was upset, but he didn't know who to be upset at. He knew what she said was true, but that didn't make it any easier to hear.

"Atton…"

"What will I do? How will I go on? You are the reason I'm alive," he said choking back tears.

"I'll be here with you always. Right here," she said placing a hand on his heart. "We'll see each other again someday. I know it."

"I…I can't do this alone," his face shining from fresh tears.

"You won't be alone babe. Whenever you feel like the world is crashing down on you, just play pazaak inside your head."

"What," he laughed out loud as she used his own logic against him.

"I mean it," she smiled. "Whenever you feel like you can't handle it anymore just close your eyes and imagine it. Then you'll be right here with me. Playing pazaak…"

* * *

**Authors Notes: So sad right? I know, I know. I hate sad endings too, but I just had to write this. Anyway, I'm quite pleased with how this one turned out. Atton with kids still makes me giggle. Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are _much_ appreciated! D**

* * *

**Edit: **I feel that I must also explain my story seeing as one reviewer has brought several points to my attention.

I purposefully left Shayna's illness/sickness a grey area because frankly, I assumed that if I actually put a name to it someone would comment about how easily that could be treated, etc.

I also left her finding Revan a little vague because well thats not what my story was about. I wanted to give Revan and Carth a happy ending and thats how I did it. (blame the fangirl in me).

I always imagined that my Exile became friends with her companions during the course of their travels and since its 10 years down the road I just though writing them as good friends was acceptable. Yes it may have been out of character for the time of game play, but remember folks, this is 10 YEARS down the road!

So after all that, if you still have _constructive criticism_ I would love to hear it. Honestly, if it can help me improve for the future I'm all ears! All flames will simply be ignored so don't bother. Thanks!


End file.
